True Surrender

 I don't know about you, but there are some things I just can't give up. Coffee for example, I feel like I have to have at least two cups before I can face my day. My family even knows that I need my coffee! There are some statistics that say why it is okay to drink it, but if you really research the side effects caffeine has on your body over a long period of time, it doesn't sound good at all. Honestly, I don't care about the bad things that are happening to my body when I drink coffee; I just know that I can't live without it. I don't even want to try. I love the smell, the taste, the boost it gives me. I actually should buy stock in Starbucks. I also understand that even though I love it so much, that doesn't mean it's good for me.

 

Isn't that like a lot of things in life? There are things that just make us feel good. We don't really think about the long term effects it has on us. We are just living in the moment. I mean why should we have to give them up. We deserve to have fun and enjoy ourselves, right? Deep down inside we know certain things are not good for us but we still do them anyway. 

 

For me, I can justify anything.  I am queen of justification. Like the shows I watch, the music I listen to, the books I read, the conversations I have, the friendships I have, the glass of wine I drink, the revenge I want after someone has hurt me. You name it, I can justify it.  

 

Recently God has asked me to give up certain things. Some were little things. Things that I don't feel like they are hindering me from Him or distracting me. But some were big things, hard things.  I will admit that I tried justifying a few of them to Him. I tried reasoning with Him. "But Lord, please don’t ask me to give that up. It's not that big of a deal, I promise it won't get in the way of you". Seriously, who am I fooling? If it wasn't in the way of my relationship with Him, then He wouldn't be asking me to give it up.

 

There were things in my life I was holding onto. Relationships that had changed but I desperately tried to hold onto them. I was doing things I shouldn't have been doing. And through all that I had lost my way. It's so easy to get caught up in situations or habits, even if you think that they are good for you at that time. 

 

For so long I couldn't understand why I couldn't hear God's voice. I was so distant from Him. At times I felt He wasn't even there. I mean He is always there but I couldn't see Him.  I felt like I was just going through the motions of being a "good Christian girl." Something was missing. I prayed and prayed for God to reveal Himself to me but I got nothing. There were times I would be face down on the ground sobbing. I’m talking about "the ugly cry." I was so frustrated with God. Why wasn't he answering me? His word says to ask and you will receive (John 16:24). Well, I was asking, but I was not receiving. 

 

Slowly and I mean slowly, God began to show me that things that I was holding onto were the very things that were distracting me and causing me to not hear His voice. He actually slapped me in the face with this picture. I imagined that on day when I finally get to meet Him, when I get to see His face (something that I've waited so long for), I walk up to Him and He smiles and says "Hello Charlyn, you made it." He takes me by the hand and says "this behind me is the eternity that I promised you but before you enter, I just want to show you the life you might have had, the life I had planned for you. Your life could have been so different. It would have meaning and purpose. When I was planning the details of your life, these are the things I wanted you to do…only you.Here are all the blessings that would have followed. This was my plan for you. It was an amazing plan. BUT, you just wouldn't surrender. You couldn't let go of your own desires, even after knowing all that I have done for you. You held on to things that weren't good for you. I asked you to give them up over and over again but you wanted your way. You were so consumed with everything else but me.  So come on in enjoy your eternity with me but know that there was so much more for you." That visual pierced through my heart. To wait my whole life to hear him say "well done" and all I get is "I had so much more for you, but you just wouldn't surrender."  Oh, my goodness!How depressing.

 

I wish I could say that it was easy after that, however, we all know anything worth it comes at a price. To truly surrender my life for His purposes was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Even today, I still struggle sometimes. I have to desperately askHim everyday to help me give up all the things that bind me so that I can be close to Him. I have to beg Him to take control over my life and use it for His glory.  I need Him more than I need anything in this world though I also know it’s easier said than done.

 

The word surrender means to relinquish control, to submit the power and authority to another. There were a few things that were easy to surrender and other things took a while. The craziest part is, as I was learning to let go, He gave me peace. Peace that I can’t even explain (John14:27). It hurt, but I knew that it was for His glory. I didn't care what He had to do with me; I just knew that I was desperate for God to get me through it.  At that point, when everything is stripped away and you have nothing left but God, God is all you end up needing. It's been a daily choice. Choosing to completely surrender and allow Him to have complete control of the mess that I am…all the good, bad, crazy, and the selfish part of me for the greater good.

 

You see now I know I have things to do.  So do you. Things that He has equipped us for (2 Peter 1:3) that only we can do. We have been chosen and have a God-given destiny, a purpose, a specific calling (Ephesians 1:11). God can't reveal any of that to us if there are things in our life that are in the way. He loves us so much and has so much for us that He isn't willing to leave us chained to the things of the world. So he pushes us to change and to let go so that we can fulfill His purpose for our life (Philippians 2:13).The things He asked me to give up are the least I can do for Him. After all, He gave up his son so that I could live this life, make mistakes, and have His grace. I'm running this race to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant. Thank you for being my hands and feet. Thank you for choosing me." 

 

I encourage you to ask God what things are in the way in your own life. What are the things you need to give up in order to be closer to him? Allow Him complete control and to be Lord of all. But also ask Him to give you what you need as you go through the season of "without". It's not an easy thing to do but it is worth it. We can’t receive anything from Him if we have clinched fists. I promise you this, if you completely surrender to Him, He will reveal himself to you like never before. When you are able to release the grip and surrender it all, your hands are free to hold onto Him. He will rock your world! So hold on tight, it's going to be the ride of your life!