The Beautiful Exchange

When we think of gift exchange we think of I give you, you give me, everyone's happy and we are done. But God's idea of exchange is so different. He is never done. He is truly the gift that keeps on giving. He is such a gracious God, constantly giving to us regardless of our lack of commitment we give to him. Everything around us is a gift from him, the air we breathe, waking up to a new day, our jobs, health, husbands, and children....I know, sometimes we doubt those last two, but seriously, we can find a gift from God in our everyday routine of life.

His most precious gift to us is the one we take for granted the most. God's perfect son who was born from a virgin to die on the cross for our sin, our redemption, and our freedom. Romans 6:23 says "For the wages of sin is death, but the FREE gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord".

One of the most cliche Bible verses John 3:16 we probably all  know it by heart, “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life". Do we really believe in this verse, or do we only believe it to have eternal life? Yes, the ultimate goal is to have eternal life with God, but what about this life? This scripture is for this life...to have freedom in this life.

When we first become saved, we are usually in a desperate situation and need God to show up and fix things. We want him to take over and be Lord of our lives, surrendering all of us...the good, bad, and ugly. Well, that's what we are supposed to do, but what do we really give him in exchange?

Maybe you're like me and feel the need to control what we will or will not surrender to him. I have no problem surrendering all the good and easy stuff, but its that hard and painful stuff he wants. I remember a time when God wanted me to surrender some things to him, but I just couldn't do it. I had to hold onto it because it had caused me so much pain, if I let go of it who would I be without it? I had carried it around for so long it had become apart of my identity. 

Isn't that why He died, so we wouldn't have to carry around all the things that separate us from Him and walk in freedom? Our identity is in Christ, not the in all the brokenness, pain, fear, anxiety, disappointment, rejection, and betrayals. If we continue to hang onto all these things then what was the point of His brutal death?

So, if we don't believe that this free gift is for this life, than we certainly can't accept or receive anything from Him. Receiving it means letting go of all the ugly that consumes us and allowing him to cover it with his grace. Getting rid of all of it so there is room for what he has for us. Accepting it means accepting the fact that you are good enough to receive from Him. He loves you and has great things for you. Don't feel like you can't receive from him because of what you have done. To Him, you're precious and He thinks you're worthy enough. Accepting it means living out the freedom. No longer accepting who you once were, but walking out who you're supposed to be.

His plan all along was to send his son to the earth and live life just like we would. He would experience temptations, rejection and physical pain that would ultimately lead to His death. He would resurrect from the dead in three days and before He left, His last instructions to the disciples and to us was to GO! Go into all the world and tell them about him and what he has done and can do.

Here's the best part of it all...the beautiful exchange. Once we give God all our stuff, the ugly broken stuff, He takes it and strategically places it all back together like only He can do. When He's done it's the most beautiful thing. He then hands it back to us and says "here you go my precious child, now will you go? I have plans for you that only you can do. Will you accept this and will you go?" 

You see, He doesn't put us all back together for us to sit on a shelf and be pretty. He does it for his purposes, our God given destiny.... so His glory will be known. We've got some work to do. It's  up to us whether or not we receive the calling on our lives. Time is short, but there's only so much that we can do if we stay broken,  or chained to all our failures, insecurities, fears, and pain. People, there's freedom in Jesus. He is waiting to give you this FREE gift, so please accept it. What do you have to loose?

This Christmas, lets remember what this day represents.  Its the day that freedom was born to walk the earth and eventually die for us, and for our freedom. As you are with you family and friends exchanging and opening gifts, let it be a reminder of all the gifts God desires to give you. Will you exchange your ugly for His beauty? Trust me, you will get the better end of that deal! 

Merry Christmas!!

Love, 

Charlyn

Tis' the Season

I absolutely love the Christmas season. It's my favorite time of year. I love the Christmas music; I love the decorating, baking, shopping, gift giving, family traditions. I love everything about it. However, the hustle and bustle annoys the mess out of me. I promise myself every year that I will not fall into the trap of chaos; but it never fails...it happens anyway! It doesn't matter if I start shopping early, I am always frustrated on Christmas Eve because I forgot that one gift and I have to run to the store with everyone else and their momma! 

I blame this madness on our society today. We are forced to rush everything. Everything about Christmas keeps getting bigger and bigger. More money is spent, more gifts are bought, Christmas trees get bigger, the to-do lists get longer, the Christmas meal has to be better than The last. We cant even enjoy one holiday without shopping for the next one. Now we are starting to Christmas shop on Thanksgiving. A day when we are supposed to be thankful we are planning our strategy to hit the door buster deals at every store. Listen, I'm preaching to myself,  every year I have given into that pressure of saving money on "black Thursday". 

There's a story in the Bible that convicts me about my priorities during this time. It's found in Luke 10:38-42. It talks about Mary and Martha, two of Jesus closest female  friends. They followed him everywhere. In fact, any time women are mentioned by name as followers of Christ, it's always Mary and Martha. This passage takes place in their home where Martha is busy playing host while Mary is sitting as Jesus' feet taking in everything he is saying. Martha gets frustrated with Mary because she's just sitting there while she's running around preparing for their meal. She says" Lord, don't you care that my sister is has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me".  His response is what's so convicting to me. He says in verse 41 "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her". OUCH!

Honestly, I don't blame Martha. If Jesus was coming to my house I would want everything to be perfect too. I wish I could say that I would be Mary, but the truth is I am just like Martha. I am always running around like a crazy person for something or someone.

In a way I'm running around preparing for him now. Not that He is coming to my house but I sure act like he is. The pressure of this day to be perfect, my Christmas decorations have to look like it came out of a magazine, keeping up with all the traditions I have started that honestly have nothing to do with Jesus. I mean really, my focus is completely off. I am just like Martha, busy making sure all everything is just right. For what? All He really wants from me is just to sit and be in His presence. Taking in all that He has for me in this season, my undivided attention to remember what it's all about.  

I hear God whisper to me as I write this. "Charlyn, Charlyn, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Choose me, because what I have for you is better than anything else and it will not be taken away from you". 

Christmas day is not supposed to be stressful. When we are consumed with all the craziness that the holiday can bring, we completely forget that "Jesus is the reason for the season". It's  not about us and our perfect holiday, its about Him...it's  always about Him. This is the day our Savior was born to save the world from sin, not how many presents are under the tree or where the Elf on the shelf is. Now don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with all these fun traditions we do but let's remember what this day represents. Its day Freedom came to walk the earth and change everything. The world would come to know Him as Immanuel, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. Jesus would be the hope that the world so desperately needed. 

So, do we continue to be busy and stressed like Martha or do we sit at the feet of Jesus...the perfect gift and unwrap all that he has for us? I can promise that His gift will change your life and it will give you something that all the business cant and that's His peace.

Love, 

Charlyn

#28daysofthanks

Recently, on Instagram, I challenged my friends to capture moments they were thankful for everyday until Thanksgiving Day. I am amazed at how many people actually participated. But, I really did it for myself. I needed to pause everyday and find something that God has blessed me with. Sometimes I am so consumed with what I don't have; I completely forget what He has already given me.

Thanksgiving, should be much more than just a holiday we celebrate once a year;  more than just eating fantastic food, family gatherings, Pilgrims and the Mayflower. Thanksgiving is an act, something that should be practiced everyday of our lives...to count the blessings one by one, everyday. I know it seems easy but if it was that easy, then why don't we do it? Why do feel discontent and have bad attitudes? Even worse we are always complaining about something.

Life is busy...it's hard to stop and be thankful during the hustle of our crazy schedule. We are so consumed with everything we have to do, we forget to pause and say thanks. When we have an ungrateful attitude, we miss out on a chance to live fully in every moment.

I think about my boys when they were infants. I rushed each stage of their little lives because I was so busy. I couldn't wait until they slept through the night so I could actually sleep through the night. I couldn't wait to stop breast feeding because a bottle was so much easier. I couldn't wait until they could sit up on their own so I didn't have to carry them on my hip all the time. I couldn't wait until they started eating real food so I didn't have to buy baby food. I couldn't wait until they drank cows milk so I could save money and not have to buy formula. I couldn't wait until they were out of diapers and potty trained. I just couldn't wait.

Now that they are nine and five, I wish I could rewind the time. I think about all that I missed because I didn't live fully in each  of those moments. I wasn't thankful for what each stage had to offer. The blessings, memories, times of snuggle, the tiny cries, their dependence on me, the teachable moments. Instead of seeing these moments as gifts I saw them as conflicts with my schedule or to-do lists. How selfish right?

Here is another one for you. How is possible to give thanks when life gets hard? You get so weary the last thing you want to do is be thankful. How can we thank God when we feel like he has allowed you to go through so much? Most of the time we are so consumed with our own circumstance, we can't even see God, let alone express our thanks to him. However, each moment is from God, even the bad ones, and it is up to us whether  we choose to see him and his gifts in these moments. Being thankful is the very thing that will bring us peace in the midst of a storm.

His word says numerous times in Psalms to give thanks. Give thanks to The Lord, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever. He is good and faithful even in the hard times. It's in those hard times that he desires to show himself to us more than ever. So, if there's nothing else good in our life, He is good and faithful so give thanks...period! 

Eucharisteo, a Greek word that means to give thanks. I have studied this word for the last 5 weeks. Its a word that brings joy, grace, and thanksgiving. I have stamped this word on my heart and it has forever changed me. Eucharisteo is a life style, a verb, an act that must be done daily. It's the only act that will bring back the joy I once had. The joy that life has taken from me. It's the only way I can live this life to the fullest...no longer rushing to the next stage, but fully taking in all that each moment has for me. Life is so short, we blink and it's over. Ann Voskamp who wrote One Thousand Gifts would say if we want to slow down time, just give thanks! 

I challenge you to this eucharisteo lifestyle. It will change your attitude, your perspective. Write down your blessings; keep a journal of the gifts God gives you everyday. You will be surprised how it will change you thoughts and the joy you will receive from counting your blessings one by one. Happy Thanksgiving...everyday!

Love,

Charlyn

The God Box

I love vacation! I love saving for it, planning it, all the good food we eat, the adventures while we are there, and most of all the memories we will make...especially a week at the beach. It's one of my favorite places and I am very fortunate that our family is able to go on a beach vacation every year. 

This summer we went to go to Chincoteague Island with some friends. A few weeks before we left God woke me up in the middle of the night with this word, "If you would just let me out of this box that YOU keep putting me in, I will rock your world". I had no idea what that meant, I don't think I put God in a box. I know that He can do anything, I mean he is God of the universe. So why would He tell me that I feel otherwise? Just so you know I'm not one of those who hears God's voice all the time. This has never happened to me before. So I woke up feeling overwhelmed and confused by this word He gave me. I tossed and turned, wondering what on earth this meant. I asked Him to please explain this, but I got nothin'. Not being able to fall back asleep, I decided to write this down in my journal, hoping my brain would release the thought so I could fall asleep.

We left for the beach and I must admit I had completely forgotten what God had laid on my heart just a few weeks earlier. Usually, when we go to the beach, we rent these little beach buggies to ride around town in. Well come to find out they are no longer street legal. So our options were mopeds or these three-wheeled moped bikes. I'm not very adventurous, I like safe fun,  I like to stay within my comfort, anything outside of my comfort zone...lets just say I'm not comfortable. The mopeds were cheaper to rent but I liked the idea of the three wheelers better because they were safer. I thought it was worth spending a little more for my own peace of mind, knowing that we would have our two young boys sitting behind us on these mopeds. The thought of us having an accident and knowing that I'm responsible for my children's safety stressed me out.

My man,  being the encouraging husband that he can be, told me "Just try it babe. Once you get comfortable I know you will be able to drive it without being afraid". Of course, he talked me into it. Going against my better judgment,  I decided to go for it. With no hesitation, my son hopped on. He has never seen me drive this thing but he trusted, that as his mom, I would keep him safe. I'm  not even gonna lie...I was scared to death! I was seriously panicking. I prayed and prayed for protection as we rode all around town.

Okay, it was so much fun...my hair blowing in the wind, my son laughing at me while I try to turn without crashing, and the grip he had on my waist was priceless!  We were having a great time and, just like my husband said I would, I got used to driving it and became comfortable. Soon there wasn't a care in the world. I felt comfortable...safe.

Later on that day while riding around town, God whispers so sweetly to me. He began to explain to me the word that He had given me a few weeks before we left. "Charlyn, this is how it will be if you step out of this box with me. It seems scary but I will be with you. Don't be afraid, be courageous (1Chronicles 28:20). Hold on tight to me like your son did to you. Don't let go. Abide in me and I will take you on the ride of you're life".  I instantly remembered what God has laid on my heart just weeks before. I'm not sure which was more exciting, the fact that I heard God speak twice (which again never happens...ever) or the adventure He is asking me to step out in.

God has called me to do something that I thought I would not be able to do. Honestly, I kept trying to tell him he's got the wrong girl, why in the world would he choose me. I mean, what is he thinking? God knows I like safe and comfortable, I feel like I am not equipped for the things He is asking me to do. I do hair for cryin' out loud!

Sometimes God calls us to do something crazy; something that we would never dream for ourselves (Isaiah 55:8-9).  We cant even imagine what He is truly capable of, so we put Him in this box, play it safe and never reach our God-given potential. We know that He is God and can do great things, but when it comes to our own lives, we don't believe He is incapable of doing those things that seem unattainable. We try to justify saying no to Gods plan because we aren't biblically smart enough, or a good public speaker, or a writer, or that we aren't good with people, not talented enough, or not confident in our spiritual gifts. Thats exactly the lie that Satan would want us to believe. 

 We aren't called to be "safe"Christians. He actually doesn't want us to be comfortable at all. He wants us exercise our faith and be extraordinary. When we surrender our lives to Him, He is capable to do all the things that we say we can't do. By allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us with His divine power is when the impossible can be done...it is no longer a dream, it is a reality. 

The Bible says that He chose us for mighty works(John 15:16). God will get the work done with or without us, so will we allow ourselves to be the ones God uses or will we shy away because it seems crazy and impossible? He actually has already equipped us, we just don't know it until he calls us(Heb. 13:21). He uses our gifts, talents, flaws, past struggles, and life experiences to mold and shape us. Then his spirit works within us to get the job done. He loves us. He wouldn't call us to do something without giving us what we need to walk it out. 

It's an incredible feeling that the God, who can do ALL things has asked me for help. I'm just an ordinary girl who struggles daily. Yet he sees something in me that I do not see. Just as my son hopped right on the moped and completely trusted me without knowing how it would turn out, I too must trust that God knows what He is doing. He doesn't accidentally choose the wrong person, He doesn't make mistakes, and if He's calling me, I guess I should stop telling him NO and just GO.

 I once heard if your dream seems possible then it's not big enough. So friends, what is your dream? What is God calling you to do that makes you think there is just no way? Its called "crazy faith" because it requires us to step out into the unknown, without even truly understanding the personal cost or what the future may hold. I truly believe that God will bless those steps of faith... if we would just take them. I encourage you to let Him out of your box and dare to dream with the One who knows you best. You may not think you can do it, but with God, you surely can. So keep dreaming, the bigger the better!

To Forgive or Not to Forgive

Forgive or not to forgive?  Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do.  When one forgives, it is the most freeing feeling you will ever experience. The problem with not being able to forgive is that it hinders us from so many things and we don't even realize it. It starts as just an offense and then it begins to take root in our hearts. We are more than just hurt, now we are angry. Before we know it, we have so much resentment built inside of us that it starts to leech into other areas of our lives. 

 

God's word says, “When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too.  In addition, when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NLT). Unforgiveness is part of Satan's scheme, it's a trap. It benefits us when we forgive those who have hurt us. Otherwise, we become prisoners to the offense, while the ones who hurt us are living life carefree. 

 

When I chose to surrender my life completely to God, I had to release the grip I had on an offense that happened to my husband and me. A person who was so close to us had hurt us and another friend so badly. I have never been so mad at someone in my life and I felt that I deserved to feel this way. I wanted revenge so badly.  I would rehearse the conversation I would have with them in my head, over and over again.  Oh, I would so tell them about themselves. I would say the most hurtful things because they deserved it. The hurt they caused was so selfish and unnecessary that they deserved whatever came their way. After everything we had been through together and being there for them through the hardest time of their lives. How could they do this and sleep at night? 

 

 One Sunday morning I was on stage leading worship at church. Singing with all my heart about how much I love God and want to be like Him and I opened my eyes and saw our nemesis walk in. It made me sick to my stomach. I hadn't seen this person since the offense had taken place. I couldn't even believe they had the nerve to come to church! Right then God confronted me. "You’re singing to me that you love me and want to be like me yet you won’t forgive this person like I have forgiven you. Forgive...today."  REALLY! I begged God, "please don't make forgive them just yet. I will do it, just not right now. I'm still so hurt and angry". I tried reasoning with God but He would not let it go.  The message in church that morning just happened to be on forgiveness. Don't you just love it when God speaks to you like that? As I am trying to hold back the tears, God slowly starts to soften my heart. I realized that the longer I held on to this hurt and anger, the more it would hinder me from all the things God has planned for me. I could not move forward with what He was calling me to do until I released the resentment I had towards this person. The realization brought me to "the ugly cry". You know, when you’re crying so hard you can't breathe and snot is just a flowin'. Yes that "ugly cry". 

 

You see I had such a tight grip on this hurt that I would not let go of it and let God deal with the person in His own way. God is a just God so why I thought my way was better I have no idea. Maybe because God is so forgiving I knew that this person deserved my revenge. Circumstances dictated that I should feel the way that I did and revenge was a normal response...right. However, was revenge enough? Would it make me feel better? In addition, who was revenge really for, them or me? Holding onto the anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

I was the one in complete sin. I was allowing that anger to control me, which in turn gave Satan a foothold.   I remembered the scripture that said, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you". (Ephesians 4:26, 27, 31, 32 NLT) I love when scripture jumps off the page and smacks you in the face. Well...sometimes! Here I was doing the very thing God's word tells me not to. Moreover, in case I didn't get it the first time, I got this little reminder. "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves". (James 1:22 NLT) UGH!

 

I am reminded that one of his own disciples betrayed even Jesus, and I am sure, when he was dying on that cross, he did not have the "woe is me" attitude. Jesus thought this betrayal and forgave Judas without any hesitation. Jesus suffered so that all could be forgiven (Colossians 3:13). So, who do I think I am to believe that I deserve God’s grace and this person doesn’t? Everyone deserves his grace. I know I am desperate for his grace...DAILY.

 

When we choose to forgive we are not letting them off the hook, we are releasing ourselves from the bondage that the offense has caused. Forgive others not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace. Forgive so you can be free!

Are You A Fan Or A Follower?

This question may seem like the same thing but I feel like there is a huge difference between a fan and a follower. Let’s use the example of a famous singer. When I think of a fan I think of someone who goes to concerts when the star is in town, buys a new CD when it comes out, maybe a poster or a t-shirt. A follower is dedicated. They go to every concert no matter the distance, a follower knows every detail about that singer’s life, talks about that person as if they are best friends, not caring if they are not popular anymore or if they do something that is morally wrong. They will follow them to the very end.

Which one am I when it comes to Christ? I would like to say that I'm a follower but if I'm being completely honest, sometimes, I'm just a fan. I go to church on Sunday because I know God will be there and it’s what I'm supposed to do. I listen to Christian music and if it is convenient for me, I will read a couple scriptures, say a prayer and call it my "quiet time."

Being just a fan is not what we have been called to be, we are called to be true followers of Christ. His word tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him (Mark 8:34). In fact in Luke 9:23 He tells us to pick up our cross daily. Not when we feel like it, or when it's convenient for us. Choosing to follow Him every day, no matter the cost.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to go to Los Angeles for a hair academy. We were all so excited to experience the “LA” life... the weather, atmosphere, the trends and most of all the celebrities. Everywhere we went we were on the prowl to find someone famous. Not having that much luck in finding any celebrities, we went to dinner at a random restaurant. We were chit chatting about what we had done that day when all of a sudden a familiar face walks in with his entire entourage. We were so excited!  We were trying to take his picture and deciding who would be brave enough to approach him. Of course, we all chickened out. Eventually he left the restaurant, the hype wore down and it became just a distant memory. We carried on with the trip as if nothing happened.

I have a huge conviction about this story. Is that how I am about God? Do I get excited to see Him? Do I go looking all around for Him, anticipating that He will show up, only to find that when I see Him, I completely chicken out at really experiencing Him because it’s uncomfortable or it’s not convenient for me. If I do experience Him, does it change my life or does it become just a memory and life goes on as usual? Do I really want to be a true follower of Christ or does it just sound like a good idea? I could live this life being just a fan, but is that enough for me?

The only problem with just being a fan is I completely miss His promise of abundant life.   Being a fan would be the safest way but it would be so boring, routine, and mundane. However, being a follower would be much more exciting! It would be hard and uncomfortable at times but it would all be worth it. With God, you never know what to expect. Even when you think you have Him figured out He does something that blows your mind. His thoughts and His ways are so much bigger than ours are (Isaiah 55:8). 

Carrying that cross and following Him is not easy.  The cross is heavy, we get tired, weary, frustrated so we put it down, not because we do not want to follow Him anymore but because sometimes we need a break, just a chance to catch our breath. In addition, that’s when Satan comes in and kicks our cross to the side. He tempts us, lies to us so we feel better about putting the cross down. It's all part of his scheme, as long as we are not carrying that cross, we aren’t effective. 

I know what you're thinking, Charlyn, you don't know the weight of my cross. You don't know how heavy it really is. The beauty of that is that He knows. We were never meant to carry that cross by ourselves. Cast your worries to Him for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He knows your cross is heavy, that's why He promises over and over that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deut. 31:6, 8, Josh 1:5, Heb13:5). He will be your strength when you are weak (2Cor 12:10).

You might be like me and want to carry someone else's cross because it looks easier or lighter. Their life looks a lot better than mine does sometimes. However, God gave you your cross because you are the only one that could carry it. Though their cross might look easier, until you carry it you have no idea how heavy it really is. You probably couldn't even handle their cross if you had to.  God asks that you "pick up YOUR cross and follow me" not someone else's burden.

Sometimes we make our cross heavier than it needs to be. We allow our past, our insecurities, and our bad decisions to chain us down. Not only is our cross heavy but we cannot move forward even if we want to. Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT).  The burden He has given us is light but sometimes we are the ones that make our cross so heavy to bear.

If you are reading this and you have put your cross down to catch your breath, I encourage you to seek God and ask Him to give you the strength to pick it up again. He loves you. He created you to have a relationship with Him so you would not have to do this on your own. There is rest in Him without having to put your cross down. What is so exciting is that at the end, there will be a day where we get to lay our cross at the foot of His throne. Out of breath and sweat dripping down our face we look up at our God and He will say the words "You did it! You have finished the race, well done my good and faithful servant."  And what a glorious day that will be!

True Surrender

 I don't know about you, but there are some things I just can't give up. Coffee for example, I feel like I have to have at least two cups before I can face my day. My family even knows that I need my coffee! There are some statistics that say why it is okay to drink it, but if you really research the side effects caffeine has on your body over a long period of time, it doesn't sound good at all. Honestly, I don't care about the bad things that are happening to my body when I drink coffee; I just know that I can't live without it. I don't even want to try. I love the smell, the taste, the boost it gives me. I actually should buy stock in Starbucks. I also understand that even though I love it so much, that doesn't mean it's good for me.

 

Isn't that like a lot of things in life? There are things that just make us feel good. We don't really think about the long term effects it has on us. We are just living in the moment. I mean why should we have to give them up. We deserve to have fun and enjoy ourselves, right? Deep down inside we know certain things are not good for us but we still do them anyway. 

 

For me, I can justify anything.  I am queen of justification. Like the shows I watch, the music I listen to, the books I read, the conversations I have, the friendships I have, the glass of wine I drink, the revenge I want after someone has hurt me. You name it, I can justify it.  

 

Recently God has asked me to give up certain things. Some were little things. Things that I don't feel like they are hindering me from Him or distracting me. But some were big things, hard things.  I will admit that I tried justifying a few of them to Him. I tried reasoning with Him. "But Lord, please don’t ask me to give that up. It's not that big of a deal, I promise it won't get in the way of you". Seriously, who am I fooling? If it wasn't in the way of my relationship with Him, then He wouldn't be asking me to give it up.

 

There were things in my life I was holding onto. Relationships that had changed but I desperately tried to hold onto them. I was doing things I shouldn't have been doing. And through all that I had lost my way. It's so easy to get caught up in situations or habits, even if you think that they are good for you at that time. 

 

For so long I couldn't understand why I couldn't hear God's voice. I was so distant from Him. At times I felt He wasn't even there. I mean He is always there but I couldn't see Him.  I felt like I was just going through the motions of being a "good Christian girl." Something was missing. I prayed and prayed for God to reveal Himself to me but I got nothing. There were times I would be face down on the ground sobbing. I’m talking about "the ugly cry." I was so frustrated with God. Why wasn't he answering me? His word says to ask and you will receive (John 16:24). Well, I was asking, but I was not receiving. 

 

Slowly and I mean slowly, God began to show me that things that I was holding onto were the very things that were distracting me and causing me to not hear His voice. He actually slapped me in the face with this picture. I imagined that on day when I finally get to meet Him, when I get to see His face (something that I've waited so long for), I walk up to Him and He smiles and says "Hello Charlyn, you made it." He takes me by the hand and says "this behind me is the eternity that I promised you but before you enter, I just want to show you the life you might have had, the life I had planned for you. Your life could have been so different. It would have meaning and purpose. When I was planning the details of your life, these are the things I wanted you to do…only you.Here are all the blessings that would have followed. This was my plan for you. It was an amazing plan. BUT, you just wouldn't surrender. You couldn't let go of your own desires, even after knowing all that I have done for you. You held on to things that weren't good for you. I asked you to give them up over and over again but you wanted your way. You were so consumed with everything else but me.  So come on in enjoy your eternity with me but know that there was so much more for you." That visual pierced through my heart. To wait my whole life to hear him say "well done" and all I get is "I had so much more for you, but you just wouldn't surrender."  Oh, my goodness!How depressing.

 

I wish I could say that it was easy after that, however, we all know anything worth it comes at a price. To truly surrender my life for His purposes was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Even today, I still struggle sometimes. I have to desperately askHim everyday to help me give up all the things that bind me so that I can be close to Him. I have to beg Him to take control over my life and use it for His glory.  I need Him more than I need anything in this world though I also know it’s easier said than done.

 

The word surrender means to relinquish control, to submit the power and authority to another. There were a few things that were easy to surrender and other things took a while. The craziest part is, as I was learning to let go, He gave me peace. Peace that I can’t even explain (John14:27). It hurt, but I knew that it was for His glory. I didn't care what He had to do with me; I just knew that I was desperate for God to get me through it.  At that point, when everything is stripped away and you have nothing left but God, God is all you end up needing. It's been a daily choice. Choosing to completely surrender and allow Him to have complete control of the mess that I am…all the good, bad, crazy, and the selfish part of me for the greater good.

 

You see now I know I have things to do.  So do you. Things that He has equipped us for (2 Peter 1:3) that only we can do. We have been chosen and have a God-given destiny, a purpose, a specific calling (Ephesians 1:11). God can't reveal any of that to us if there are things in our life that are in the way. He loves us so much and has so much for us that He isn't willing to leave us chained to the things of the world. So he pushes us to change and to let go so that we can fulfill His purpose for our life (Philippians 2:13).The things He asked me to give up are the least I can do for Him. After all, He gave up his son so that I could live this life, make mistakes, and have His grace. I'm running this race to hear "Well done my good and faithful servant. Thank you for being my hands and feet. Thank you for choosing me." 

 

I encourage you to ask God what things are in the way in your own life. What are the things you need to give up in order to be closer to him? Allow Him complete control and to be Lord of all. But also ask Him to give you what you need as you go through the season of "without". It's not an easy thing to do but it is worth it. We can’t receive anything from Him if we have clinched fists. I promise you this, if you completely surrender to Him, He will reveal himself to you like never before. When you are able to release the grip and surrender it all, your hands are free to hold onto Him. He will rock your world! So hold on tight, it's going to be the ride of your life!

 

Oceans (where my feet will fail)

You call me out upon the waters 

The great unknown where feet may fail 

And there I find You in the mystery 

In oceans deep 

My faith will stand 

I will call upon Your name 

And keep my eyes above the waves 

When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace 

For I am Yours and You are mine 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters 

Your sovereign hand 

Will be my guide 

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me 

You've never failed and you won't start now 

So I will call upon Your name 

And keep my eyes above the waves 

When oceans rise 

My soul will rest in your embrace 

For I am Yours and You are mine 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders 

Let me walk upon the waters 

Wherever You would call me 

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander 

And my faith will be made stronger 

In the presence of my Savior 

I will call upon Your Name 

Keep my eyes above the waves 

My soul will rest in Your embrace 

I am Yours and You are mine

Identity???

Identity. It can either make us or break us. Who am I and what am I here for? It's the haunting question that we all seem to face. God has really been stirring that question in me lately. Everywhere I turn I'm faced with people searching for who they are and what they are supposed to be doing. 

For those of you who don't know me I am a hairstylist so I am constantly surrounded by women who struggle with this very thing. Whether they hide behind their husbands identity, live vicariously through their children, or are obsessed with what they look like. They still feel empty. I know I am famous for trying to make everything on the outside appear to be perfect so that everyone around me thinks that I am in fact perfect. However if I am being completely honest I am a hot mess inside! I feel so empty sometimes. Feeling as if there's got to be more to life. I don't know what it is but we all struggle with this just in different ways. At least I know I did up until recently when I was faced with this realization.

The real truth of the matter is who we are comes from nothing or no one except for Christ himself. He is our identity. We are His children created in His image(Genesis 1:27). The funny thing is this concept is so hard to grasp and comprehend. In fact being a daughter of the King just doesn't seem to be enough sometimes. There should be more right? So we start to search for who we are or want to be in all the wrong things. We have to "find ourselves". The world tells us how we should be, what we should look like, what we have is measured by our success, our kids have to  be involved in every sport or activity because if we are not busy then something is wrong. Now I haven't read the whole Bible but I'm pretty sure that it doesn't say that I have to look like a Victoria Secret model, my husband has to make 6 figures, that I have to live in a big house, drive a nice car, and I have to make my life so busy that I feel like a crazy person. In fact the Bible says that I shouldn't conform to the ways of the world(Romans 12:2) and not to love the world or anything in it(1 John 2:15-16). I am to be an example of Christ(Ephesians 5:1-2). But we give in to the world and all the business anyway then wonder why our lives are so stressful and why life feels so empty. So by the time we think we have figured out who we are, we are in such a deep pit and held captive in our own body and don't even realize it. Its all a part of Satan's plan. I love that saying that says if Satan can't make us bad he will make us busy. We have given into all his lies. Why is it so much easier to believe the lies than it is to believe God's truth about who we are in Him and what we are supposed to be doing? I believe its because our minds are weak and we aren't able to stand firm on God's word long enough to fight Satan off. Satan, who's name is defined as "the  accuser" is the author of lies(John 8:44). He would love nothing more than to separate us from the One who loves us most. He has destined us to that pit. And yet we give into him and allow him to have control over us. 

Speaking of control, another thing we find our identity in is our past. Our past can control our life if we allow it. The people that have hurt us, the bad decisions we have made, betrayal, bitterness and resentment. The list goes on and on. These things take root within us and become apart of who we are. They become so natural to us that we don't even realize the bondage that we are in because of it. Most of the time we don't even want to let go of the past because we don't know who to be without it. 

Well I have good news! Nothing we have ever done, what's been done to us, or the decisions we've made can separate us from Gods love(Rom 8:38-39). There is true freedom in Christ. He came so that we would no longer be slaves to all the things that bind us(Galations 5:1). When we learn and believe His truth about us that's when the freedom begins(John 8:31-32).

So what does that mean if our identity is in Christ? It means that we are who God says we are. We are His children, an heir of Christ himself(Galatians 4:7; Rom 8:15-17). We are His masterpiece(Ephesians 2:10). We have a purpose and a God given destiny. He chose us before He spoke us into existence(Psalms 139:13-18). He hand picked our characteristics and made us exactly how we are supposed to be to live out the calling we have on our lives. His love for us is unconditional. We can't even fathom how much He loves us(Ephesians3:18-19). But until we come to grips with who we are in Christ and how much he loves us we will never be able to live a life that's worthy of the calling(2Thessalonians 1:11). Life is too short to waste time wallowing in what we think makes us. We have things to do that only we can do. 

Friends, I encourage you to not let this world or anyone tell you who you should be. Allow God to be your identity so that you can be confident in who you are to do this thing we call "life". He has got plans for you(Jeremiah 29:11). Amazing plans so don't settle for the worlds identity. Rather, satisfy yourself in Christ's identity. It's a choice that only you can make.

So...what will it be?