The God Box

I love vacation! I love saving for it, planning it, all the good food we eat, the adventures while we are there, and most of all the memories we will make...especially a week at the beach. It's one of my favorite places and I am very fortunate that our family is able to go on a beach vacation every year. 

This summer we went to go to Chincoteague Island with some friends. A few weeks before we left God woke me up in the middle of the night with this word, "If you would just let me out of this box that YOU keep putting me in, I will rock your world". I had no idea what that meant, I don't think I put God in a box. I know that He can do anything, I mean he is God of the universe. So why would He tell me that I feel otherwise? Just so you know I'm not one of those who hears God's voice all the time. This has never happened to me before. So I woke up feeling overwhelmed and confused by this word He gave me. I tossed and turned, wondering what on earth this meant. I asked Him to please explain this, but I got nothin'. Not being able to fall back asleep, I decided to write this down in my journal, hoping my brain would release the thought so I could fall asleep.

We left for the beach and I must admit I had completely forgotten what God had laid on my heart just a few weeks earlier. Usually, when we go to the beach, we rent these little beach buggies to ride around town in. Well come to find out they are no longer street legal. So our options were mopeds or these three-wheeled moped bikes. I'm not very adventurous, I like safe fun,  I like to stay within my comfort, anything outside of my comfort zone...lets just say I'm not comfortable. The mopeds were cheaper to rent but I liked the idea of the three wheelers better because they were safer. I thought it was worth spending a little more for my own peace of mind, knowing that we would have our two young boys sitting behind us on these mopeds. The thought of us having an accident and knowing that I'm responsible for my children's safety stressed me out.

My man,  being the encouraging husband that he can be, told me "Just try it babe. Once you get comfortable I know you will be able to drive it without being afraid". Of course, he talked me into it. Going against my better judgment,  I decided to go for it. With no hesitation, my son hopped on. He has never seen me drive this thing but he trusted, that as his mom, I would keep him safe. I'm  not even gonna lie...I was scared to death! I was seriously panicking. I prayed and prayed for protection as we rode all around town.

Okay, it was so much fun...my hair blowing in the wind, my son laughing at me while I try to turn without crashing, and the grip he had on my waist was priceless!  We were having a great time and, just like my husband said I would, I got used to driving it and became comfortable. Soon there wasn't a care in the world. I felt comfortable...safe.

Later on that day while riding around town, God whispers so sweetly to me. He began to explain to me the word that He had given me a few weeks before we left. "Charlyn, this is how it will be if you step out of this box with me. It seems scary but I will be with you. Don't be afraid, be courageous (1Chronicles 28:20). Hold on tight to me like your son did to you. Don't let go. Abide in me and I will take you on the ride of you're life".  I instantly remembered what God has laid on my heart just weeks before. I'm not sure which was more exciting, the fact that I heard God speak twice (which again never happens...ever) or the adventure He is asking me to step out in.

God has called me to do something that I thought I would not be able to do. Honestly, I kept trying to tell him he's got the wrong girl, why in the world would he choose me. I mean, what is he thinking? God knows I like safe and comfortable, I feel like I am not equipped for the things He is asking me to do. I do hair for cryin' out loud!

Sometimes God calls us to do something crazy; something that we would never dream for ourselves (Isaiah 55:8-9).  We cant even imagine what He is truly capable of, so we put Him in this box, play it safe and never reach our God-given potential. We know that He is God and can do great things, but when it comes to our own lives, we don't believe He is incapable of doing those things that seem unattainable. We try to justify saying no to Gods plan because we aren't biblically smart enough, or a good public speaker, or a writer, or that we aren't good with people, not talented enough, or not confident in our spiritual gifts. Thats exactly the lie that Satan would want us to believe. 

 We aren't called to be "safe"Christians. He actually doesn't want us to be comfortable at all. He wants us exercise our faith and be extraordinary. When we surrender our lives to Him, He is capable to do all the things that we say we can't do. By allowing the Holy Spirit to fill us with His divine power is when the impossible can be done...it is no longer a dream, it is a reality. 

The Bible says that He chose us for mighty works(John 15:16). God will get the work done with or without us, so will we allow ourselves to be the ones God uses or will we shy away because it seems crazy and impossible? He actually has already equipped us, we just don't know it until he calls us(Heb. 13:21). He uses our gifts, talents, flaws, past struggles, and life experiences to mold and shape us. Then his spirit works within us to get the job done. He loves us. He wouldn't call us to do something without giving us what we need to walk it out. 

It's an incredible feeling that the God, who can do ALL things has asked me for help. I'm just an ordinary girl who struggles daily. Yet he sees something in me that I do not see. Just as my son hopped right on the moped and completely trusted me without knowing how it would turn out, I too must trust that God knows what He is doing. He doesn't accidentally choose the wrong person, He doesn't make mistakes, and if He's calling me, I guess I should stop telling him NO and just GO.

 I once heard if your dream seems possible then it's not big enough. So friends, what is your dream? What is God calling you to do that makes you think there is just no way? Its called "crazy faith" because it requires us to step out into the unknown, without even truly understanding the personal cost or what the future may hold. I truly believe that God will bless those steps of faith... if we would just take them. I encourage you to let Him out of your box and dare to dream with the One who knows you best. You may not think you can do it, but with God, you surely can. So keep dreaming, the bigger the better!

To Forgive or Not to Forgive

Forgive or not to forgive?  Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do.  When one forgives, it is the most freeing feeling you will ever experience. The problem with not being able to forgive is that it hinders us from so many things and we don't even realize it. It starts as just an offense and then it begins to take root in our hearts. We are more than just hurt, now we are angry. Before we know it, we have so much resentment built inside of us that it starts to leech into other areas of our lives. 

 

God's word says, “When you forgive this man, I forgive him, too.  In addition, when I forgive whatever needs to be forgiven, I do so with Christ’s authority for your benefit, so that Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 NLT). Unforgiveness is part of Satan's scheme, it's a trap. It benefits us when we forgive those who have hurt us. Otherwise, we become prisoners to the offense, while the ones who hurt us are living life carefree. 

 

When I chose to surrender my life completely to God, I had to release the grip I had on an offense that happened to my husband and me. A person who was so close to us had hurt us and another friend so badly. I have never been so mad at someone in my life and I felt that I deserved to feel this way. I wanted revenge so badly.  I would rehearse the conversation I would have with them in my head, over and over again.  Oh, I would so tell them about themselves. I would say the most hurtful things because they deserved it. The hurt they caused was so selfish and unnecessary that they deserved whatever came their way. After everything we had been through together and being there for them through the hardest time of their lives. How could they do this and sleep at night? 

 

 One Sunday morning I was on stage leading worship at church. Singing with all my heart about how much I love God and want to be like Him and I opened my eyes and saw our nemesis walk in. It made me sick to my stomach. I hadn't seen this person since the offense had taken place. I couldn't even believe they had the nerve to come to church! Right then God confronted me. "You’re singing to me that you love me and want to be like me yet you won’t forgive this person like I have forgiven you. Forgive...today."  REALLY! I begged God, "please don't make forgive them just yet. I will do it, just not right now. I'm still so hurt and angry". I tried reasoning with God but He would not let it go.  The message in church that morning just happened to be on forgiveness. Don't you just love it when God speaks to you like that? As I am trying to hold back the tears, God slowly starts to soften my heart. I realized that the longer I held on to this hurt and anger, the more it would hinder me from all the things God has planned for me. I could not move forward with what He was calling me to do until I released the resentment I had towards this person. The realization brought me to "the ugly cry". You know, when you’re crying so hard you can't breathe and snot is just a flowin'. Yes that "ugly cry". 

 

You see I had such a tight grip on this hurt that I would not let go of it and let God deal with the person in His own way. God is a just God so why I thought my way was better I have no idea. Maybe because God is so forgiving I knew that this person deserved my revenge. Circumstances dictated that I should feel the way that I did and revenge was a normal response...right. However, was revenge enough? Would it make me feel better? In addition, who was revenge really for, them or me? Holding onto the anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

I was the one in complete sin. I was allowing that anger to control me, which in turn gave Satan a foothold.   I remembered the scripture that said, “Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you". (Ephesians 4:26, 27, 31, 32 NLT) I love when scripture jumps off the page and smacks you in the face. Well...sometimes! Here I was doing the very thing God's word tells me not to. Moreover, in case I didn't get it the first time, I got this little reminder. "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves". (James 1:22 NLT) UGH!

 

I am reminded that one of his own disciples betrayed even Jesus, and I am sure, when he was dying on that cross, he did not have the "woe is me" attitude. Jesus thought this betrayal and forgave Judas without any hesitation. Jesus suffered so that all could be forgiven (Colossians 3:13). So, who do I think I am to believe that I deserve God’s grace and this person doesn’t? Everyone deserves his grace. I know I am desperate for his grace...DAILY.

 

When we choose to forgive we are not letting them off the hook, we are releasing ourselves from the bondage that the offense has caused. Forgive others not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace. Forgive so you can be free!

Are You A Fan Or A Follower?

This question may seem like the same thing but I feel like there is a huge difference between a fan and a follower. Let’s use the example of a famous singer. When I think of a fan I think of someone who goes to concerts when the star is in town, buys a new CD when it comes out, maybe a poster or a t-shirt. A follower is dedicated. They go to every concert no matter the distance, a follower knows every detail about that singer’s life, talks about that person as if they are best friends, not caring if they are not popular anymore or if they do something that is morally wrong. They will follow them to the very end.

Which one am I when it comes to Christ? I would like to say that I'm a follower but if I'm being completely honest, sometimes, I'm just a fan. I go to church on Sunday because I know God will be there and it’s what I'm supposed to do. I listen to Christian music and if it is convenient for me, I will read a couple scriptures, say a prayer and call it my "quiet time."

Being just a fan is not what we have been called to be, we are called to be true followers of Christ. His word tells us to pick up our cross and follow Him (Mark 8:34). In fact in Luke 9:23 He tells us to pick up our cross daily. Not when we feel like it, or when it's convenient for us. Choosing to follow Him every day, no matter the cost.

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to go to Los Angeles for a hair academy. We were all so excited to experience the “LA” life... the weather, atmosphere, the trends and most of all the celebrities. Everywhere we went we were on the prowl to find someone famous. Not having that much luck in finding any celebrities, we went to dinner at a random restaurant. We were chit chatting about what we had done that day when all of a sudden a familiar face walks in with his entire entourage. We were so excited!  We were trying to take his picture and deciding who would be brave enough to approach him. Of course, we all chickened out. Eventually he left the restaurant, the hype wore down and it became just a distant memory. We carried on with the trip as if nothing happened.

I have a huge conviction about this story. Is that how I am about God? Do I get excited to see Him? Do I go looking all around for Him, anticipating that He will show up, only to find that when I see Him, I completely chicken out at really experiencing Him because it’s uncomfortable or it’s not convenient for me. If I do experience Him, does it change my life or does it become just a memory and life goes on as usual? Do I really want to be a true follower of Christ or does it just sound like a good idea? I could live this life being just a fan, but is that enough for me?

The only problem with just being a fan is I completely miss His promise of abundant life.   Being a fan would be the safest way but it would be so boring, routine, and mundane. However, being a follower would be much more exciting! It would be hard and uncomfortable at times but it would all be worth it. With God, you never know what to expect. Even when you think you have Him figured out He does something that blows your mind. His thoughts and His ways are so much bigger than ours are (Isaiah 55:8). 

Carrying that cross and following Him is not easy.  The cross is heavy, we get tired, weary, frustrated so we put it down, not because we do not want to follow Him anymore but because sometimes we need a break, just a chance to catch our breath. In addition, that’s when Satan comes in and kicks our cross to the side. He tempts us, lies to us so we feel better about putting the cross down. It's all part of his scheme, as long as we are not carrying that cross, we aren’t effective. 

I know what you're thinking, Charlyn, you don't know the weight of my cross. You don't know how heavy it really is. The beauty of that is that He knows. We were never meant to carry that cross by ourselves. Cast your worries to Him for He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). He knows your cross is heavy, that's why He promises over and over that He will never leave you or forsake you (Deut. 31:6, 8, Josh 1:5, Heb13:5). He will be your strength when you are weak (2Cor 12:10).

You might be like me and want to carry someone else's cross because it looks easier or lighter. Their life looks a lot better than mine does sometimes. However, God gave you your cross because you are the only one that could carry it. Though their cross might look easier, until you carry it you have no idea how heavy it really is. You probably couldn't even handle their cross if you had to.  God asks that you "pick up YOUR cross and follow me" not someone else's burden.

Sometimes we make our cross heavier than it needs to be. We allow our past, our insecurities, and our bad decisions to chain us down. Not only is our cross heavy but we cannot move forward even if we want to. Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NLT).  The burden He has given us is light but sometimes we are the ones that make our cross so heavy to bear.

If you are reading this and you have put your cross down to catch your breath, I encourage you to seek God and ask Him to give you the strength to pick it up again. He loves you. He created you to have a relationship with Him so you would not have to do this on your own. There is rest in Him without having to put your cross down. What is so exciting is that at the end, there will be a day where we get to lay our cross at the foot of His throne. Out of breath and sweat dripping down our face we look up at our God and He will say the words "You did it! You have finished the race, well done my good and faithful servant."  And what a glorious day that will be!